Jet Lagged, Homesick… and doing OK

2

March 15, 2018 by Darlene McC

Greetings once again from Thailand and the beautiful island of Koh Phanang. I was up for the sunrise yoga and meditation this morning, a quick swim, and settling in for my second full day on an island paradise.

It hasn’t been all sunshine, though. My first day and a half were a challenge – I was suffering from terrible jet lag, bad enough to make me nauseous most of the day. I had to give in and sleep for the sake of my sanity. Mixed in with the jet lag was a heavy dose of homesick, triggered by some imposter syndrome.

Yesterday morning I had breakfast at a little coffee shop on the main drag in the village. I was surrounded by yogi expats – tanned, fit, attractive and everyone seemed to know one another. They all looked like they were out of central casting for a beach movie set in paradise with the wardrobe and scooters to match. I tried to smile and make eye contact; but failed to even get a response.

By early afternoon I was a bit dejected ~ but I’m lucky. I have friends around the world who love and support me, so even though everyone in New York was asleep my dear friend Jackie stepped up. She reminded me that I’m here for a reason. That for over a year I’ve been lead to being here, right now, and I’ve got a lot to learn about myself, my body, teaching, yoga, and the world at large. I admit it, I cried a little. But I felt better after.

I needed to stay out of the mid-day sun, so I planted on my porch with my ukulele and started plucking away… and passers-by actually smiled back! Burned a few hours, grabbed a bite, then headed over the Zen Beach where yogis are rumored to gather at sunset.

20180315_184809.jpgWhat I found was the largest most joyous drum circle of my life! People were laughing, chanting, clapping, and dancing… and after a little while I was one of them. I managed to make my first friend on the island, a lively Dutch woman with an infectious smile. She teased me for not knowing where anything is; and I reminded her I’ve only been here for 24 hours. Then she tried to convince me to just move here… seems a little soon for that.

There’s still 2 days before yoga school starts. I’m sure there will be more moments of feeling overwhelmed or lonely. In those moments I’ll do my best to remind myself that part of the reason I came all this way was to get out of my normal way of thinking about and seeing the world. To break my old mental rhythms and find other ways to live.

Some of that process is bound to be uncomfortable.

You have to see messes clearly before you can clean them up.

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2 thoughts on “Jet Lagged, Homesick… and doing OK

  1. Just came across your blog, your new adventure sounds very interesting! Looking forward to learning more 🙂 I hope you start to feel more settled soon – moving away from family and friends can be so hard at first but you learn so much about yourself! Happy travels 🙂 Rachael

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So much of life is in how we transition. In if we allow ourselves a process, get stuck, or judge ourselves in moments of deep change. If we can find calm in our storms and not cling as things slip past us. - - - I've been home from Koh Phanang, Thailand for 4 days & mostly sleeping. This beautiful trip rocked me and my soul. I've come back with clarified questions and a fire inside, ready for the exciting changes to come. - - - Has something ignited your fire recently? What changes are on your horizon that you're hoping to rise to? Share in the comments. - - #throwbackthursday #tt #kohphagan #thailand #wanderlust #wanderwoman #sunset #beachvibes #beachlife #zenbeach #beautiful #meditation #selfgrowth #personaldevelopment #selfcare #growandchange
Travel is a huge challenge for #spoonies - for those with hEDS it's a shock to the nervous system and a real struggle. I'm only 1/3 of the way into my 40 hour haul from Thailand to New York and was already starting to feel the effects of the flight. Dizzy, nauseous, disoriented. What's a #zebra to do? . . . I applied all I've learned the last month with @luna_alignment_yoga of course! If my nervous system is the problem, what if I use movement to help? First I got a massage and took a shower, because that always helps. Then I combined @yogigypsynomad and my finals her use of #sunsalutation to stimulate the autonomic nervous system, and then I added some more forward folds and gentle twists to calm it back down. Finished up with 7 min of pranayama to balance the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. . . The result? I'm hungry! When those with hEDS fly we experience gastroparesis - a stalled digestive system. Thats why the nausea. Being hungry means the practice worked! Any spoonies out there who want to know more DM me. . . What do you think @talswissa is that intelligent practice? Would Anu be proud? 😉 . . . #movementismymedicine #spoonievictory #spooniewarrior #myillnessdoesnotdefineme #yogaeverywhere #lunaalignmentyoga #alignmentyoga #alignmentfirst #trainsmarter #selfcare #selfcareisselflove #learningtolovemyself #hEDS #EhlersDanlos #EhlersDanlosSyndromes
Being the middle of 5 crazies. And I wouldn't have it any other way. . . #nationalsiblingday #wildchild #middlechild #threes #lifeinthrees #wanderlust #farfromhome #homesick
It's important to be a supportive friend - and when @alliolson23 and I find the rest of the @luna_alignment_yoga TTC crew on the beach the support was in full force! . . . This trip has taught me so much about myself. Things I was scared to try that I can now see I'm capable of, that I can learn to trust more deeply and open up, and apparently that I can FLY! . . . 10 more days in Koh Phanang and trying to live fully in them. . . #kohphagan #thailand #200yttc #200ytt #acroyoga #trysomethingnew #spoonievictory #spooniewarrior #spoonie #iamnotmyillness #eds #EhlersDanlosSyndromes #alignmentyoga #challengeyourself #strongissexy #strongwoman
It's a full moon tonight on Koh Phanang but the stars are out early. . 📸 @paulinedemuynck . #kohphagan #secretbeach #nude #selflove #takearisk #myillnessdoesnotdefineme #bigisbeautiful #thailand #fullmoon #bluemoon #srithanu #beachlife #beautiful #beachvibes #selfacceptance
I came to Thailand to shift my perspective - today we took that literally! My first full inversion! . . . Conventional medical "wisdom" will tell you I can't do this - that people with Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility Type aren't getting any better. The first two weeks of Alignment Yoga Teacher Training have focused on what I figured out to survive: with proper alignment and strength the body can stabilize. Strength is the name of my game! . . . No doubt there are some zebras and spoonies out there struggling. To you I say: it's been 11 years since my diagnosis and I've come lightyears since then. Dig deep. Keep learning. Never surrender (except in meditation). . . . And I still have 2 weeks more! 🙌 . . . #EhlersDanlosSyndromes #EhlersDanlos #hEDS #spoonievictory #spoonie #spooniewellness #yogi #inversion #headstand #yoga #200ytt #alignmentyoga #lunaalignmentyoga @luna_alignment_yoga #strong #strongwoman #kohphagan #selflove #selfcareisselflove #nevergiveup
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