Matters of my Heart

1

July 20, 2016 by Darlene McC

There are a half dozen types of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome; and while I’m unfortunate enough to have it, I don’t have one of the types that will kill me. We think.

I also do a diligent job of caring for myself. After learning 9 years ago that my ligaments are shit I started working on what I could control: my muscles. I got as strong as I could to keep my joints as stable as they can be. Despite these efforts, I was recently hurt and went to a new ortho who has some…concerns.

On the new docs orders, today I went to the cardiologist for the first time and experienced the odd doubt I’ve been getting for the past few years. Something infuriating. Something that happens all the time: people don’t believe me because I look big and strong.

How could I have a hypermobility disorder if I look the way I do? I’ll tell you how: Hard. Fucking. Work.

It took 5 years to earn the right to run, even a little. I trained my ass off to get to snatch a kettlebell, building safe ranges of motion and strength. And every time I rush I pay for it.

Today I go in to this new doc and he treats me like a stupid kid. As if I was misdiagnosed all those years ago and my joints are only sore from lifting. Granted, it’s my orthopedist who sent me to him, and I haven’t been allowed to lift in 2 weeks…but no matter. I must be making it up.

So he does an EKG and hints at a misdiagnosis. I tell him I’m not some a-hole boot camp Trainer and he can see I’m offended. After a big hint again, I casually fold in my multiple dislocations, the collapsed arches, the TFC surgery, and the years of PT.

“Oh. You didn’t say you’ve had disloactions”

“You didn’t ask. I asked if you wanted a list of my joint injuries…”

“Well I’m starting to get a better picture.”

No shit.

And suddenly my pain is legit and I’m ordered to get an echo next week…to verify I don’t have the type that can kill me. Which is what I was there for.

Great work, doc. I’ll see you next week I guess.

Advertisements

One thought on “Matters of my Heart

  1. Kat-15 says:

    Ugh. I’ve had similar experiences in medical care. I have PCOS and providers have been doubtful I have it because I’m not obese and don’t have acne. Well, I work my ass off and follow all the rules regarding PCOS, and watch my diet like a hawk, so no, I’m not fat and yes I have PCOS. And it’s so hard to move past that when someone does that to you or looks at you like that. Sorry you had that experience, and go you for being a badass and doing everything you can to be your best.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Instagram

Growth is an essential human need. . . To progress. To change. . . Sometimes we need to look back down the path to see how far we've come. Today the past reached back (via Facebook) to show me how far I've climbed. . . Never doubt that you have the ability to grow. To change. And yes, I believe that people do change! Oftentimes it's so subtle we miss it. . . So far 2018 has held many challenges; the biggest difference from 2008 is now I can see the opportunity wrapped inside them. . . #tbt #progressnotperfection #winning #fitpro #curlyhairdontcare #growthmindset @teameqx #greenwichaveequinox #equinox #itsnotfitnessitslife #committosomething
#thatmomentwhen your guided meditation series gets featured by @team_eqx 😄 🙏 . . For many years I held myself back with the belief that meditation was too "out there" for fitness and no one would get it. I'm so blessed to work on a company and with a team that's so excited for me to share my practice with them. . . #blessed #meditation #trainerlife #equinox #alignmentyoga #wellbeing #levelup . . . #Repost @team_eqx and @jordon.tatishi - - - - - - Mid- Month Meditation Check In w/ @darlene.coach . Thank you for this guided opportunity to reflect & focus on what sensations my body has been experiencing the last 2 weeks. Releasing tensions and centering my body.
#tbt to our last sunset in Thailand. I miss that magic island and all my loves from TTC. A far cry from a rainy day in Midtown Manhattan. . . Suns set, seasons change. This has been a year of transformations so far, and there's still more to come. . . Don't be afraid of change. It's our only constant. It's one of our few lifelong companions, alone with your heartbeat and your breath. You can fight it or you can embrace it ~ one leaks energy and one invites you to leave behind what isn't working. . . How have you reached towards change this year? . . . #kohphagan #progressnotperfection #changeisgood #growthmindset #anothergrowthopportunity #washyourface #thailandyoga #lunayoga #lunaalignmentyoga #lunaalignmentyogattc #ttc #yogawarrior #yogateacher
Fitness and wellness pros! Join me tomorrow at Yoga Collective NYC for a weekly exploration of your body, movement, and how proper alignment affects your wellbeing. $25 drop in - DM me with any questions. . . . #alignmentfirst #alignmentyoga #lunaalignmentyoga #yoga #yogateacher #yogaeverywhere #yogaeverydamnday #fitpro #yogapro #trainerlife
Wise words from my teacher: ・・・ For years I saw yoga as the goal, sacrificing myself on its alter. I now see yoga as magnificent tool, or actually a box of tools, aimed to help us live life in its full potential: health on all levels and acceptance on all levels, so we can experience the freedom and joy within us. ❤️ -Tal . . . #Repost @luna_alignment_yoga . . . . . . . . . . #alignmentyogattc #lunaalignmentyoga #alignment #alignmentyoga #yogateacher #yoga #yogateachertraining #yogateacherlife #yogateachertrainingthailand #yogateachertrainingcourse #innerstate #yogastudents #ytt200 #wellbeing #thailandyoga #yogathailand #kohphanganyoga #yogakohphangan #pranayamagarden #instayoga #yogateachertrainings #yogateachertrainingkohphangan
Back from a weekend in the woods by myself, feeling a sense of freedom and accomplishment. . . It's so easy in our lives to focus on the daily challenges. The lists of tasks, the unanswered texts, the emails and "shoulds". Knowing I had 30 hours that was more about the journey than the destination gave me the freedom to explore. To enjoy. To play. To just BE. . . What gives you a sense of freedom? Have you set aside some time this weekend/coming week to just BE? How will you use it? . . #gooutside #befree #outdoors #donttellmewhaticantdo #heds #hiking #camping #womenwhocamp #wildwoman #wildchild #free #bornfree #liveinthewild #livefree
%d bloggers like this: