September 4, 2015 by Darlene McC
Urban Amazon will turn 5 years old this month – the first post being titled with a Cake Lyric (facepalm). It was back when I wanted to be “internet famous”, but my partner in crime had moved to LA and I was without an outlet. I felt silly as “a YouTuber”; I’m too self-conscious being myself on camera. I wanted a place to log and be and share. So I spat this out.
In the course of this blog’s life I regained my athletic pursuits, became a professional trainer at one of the best companies I’ve ever worked for, published articles, trained some awesome clients, and grew a bunch; like, as a person. I added contributors, and some dropped off; did a few Whole30s before anyone knew what that was, and tried a few new things.
And then I stopped posting. I got busy and felt like my blog had lost it’s identity.
18 months ago I transitioned out of being a full time trainer; first my responsibilities shifted to teaching new trainers how not to break anyone, and then oversight for a team of nearly 50. I’m “the manager” now; which has come with it’s own odd sense of growth and reflection.
It was about that time that Urban Amazon scaled down, and despite my best intentions has remained twisting on the side. My former contributors moving on to other projects and the site itself rolled back to it’s bare bones.
In our 20s we “creative types” start our projects with lofty objectives ~ ways to monetize our passions and schemes for what we see our inventive children growing into. There was a lot of failure; some of it I didn’t take as well as I might have liked. In my early 30s now I look back and wonder how I ever had the energy for so much content generation! But also see humor in how I tried to snowball everything into avalanches. I think I’ve learned in the process of “growing up” creatively to appreciate what I’m making for it’s own sake. Something I wasn’t even considering in the years before this space existed.
Now it’s the long haul. The steady dripping water that carves caverns; hollowing out the mountain from the inside, recreating the landscape. Two years ago I wanted to roll back to where I’d started: my little blog where I recorded my adventures, shared my struggles, and gave advice about how to live better, move better, and feel better. Guess all I needed to do was stop writing for a while and feel like no one was paying it much mind anymore.
So this is my re-boot post. I miss UA and I want to write again. About fitness; about the struggle to care for yourself and one another; about what it’s like to want to live wildly, but be chained to a keyboard for far too many hours. Strategies for breaking free but still living responsibly, and the challenge of loving beer but not my high body composition.