Re-de-finding Motivation

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November 25, 2014 by Darlene McC

I had a personal pitfall in my early 20s.  I believed that if I could just change – if I could just find the magic bullet or diet or self-realization – that I’d magically be “better”.  That I’d find the body or the path or the happiness I’d been longing for and I’d be finished.  I’d be cured.  I’d have “it”.

Somehow as I approached 30 (oh yes, the magic of 30.  That year that I’m about to wrap up) I realized that we are not a static collection of adjectives, but a plastic experience.  Each moment being defined by the decisions of the moments before them.

And so I’ve found myself struggling in 2014.  All these lessons I thought I’d learned years ago have been coming undone and I’m pacing through them trying to re-find purchase.  Quests I though I’d completed are coming up again, and old foes go un-slain.  It’s as if I’m being slipped back into the body of 3 years ago and being asked to re-do.

I’ve fallen off the all mighty “Fitness Bandwagon” that all professionals in the health and wellness industry are expected to live upon.  That booze-free, cake-free, chocolate-free Merry-Go-Round (hyphens enough?) full of kale and sweat that we don’t tell you has a slipped barring.

Here I am again.  Getting back onto the workout train.  Back onto the body-comp-decrease train.  The “self improvement” train.  Recategorizing my adjectives after another challenging year; but this time giving myself a bit more slack.  After this year, I’ve earned it.

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