It Is 2012.

2

January 1, 2012 by Darlene McC

I am not a huge fan of the annual “end of the year” or “looking forward to the year” post, even in the best of years.  They’re awkward at best, uncomfortable at worst; either distilling the previous solar cycle into nuggets of perceived wisdom or breasing through lists of events but not considering their significance.  Rarely do I read one the really enthralls me.

But here I am, on another January 1st, having written very little since the fall and feeling the need to mark the passing of time in true blogger fashion.  My silence was not because the fall was uneventful; quite the contrary.  So much of significance happened I didn’t know where to begin.  I still don’t.  There are mornings where I feel that everything has changed; yet I still wake up in my body and my life still fits in the scope of this blog.  …So much has changed…

I am in transition. Not just from one year to another or one month to the next, but also from early adulthood to something more concrete. Middle age? Not quite yet, but perhaps “the mix is beginning to set” as it were. I’ve also transitioned my career.  Here’s the bomb: I haven’t been on an audition in almost 5 months…and I don’t really miss it.  After years of putting incredible pressure on myself (and also my self esteem, my wallet, my relationships, my hair) I opted to burp the theatrical tupperware by taking a break from acting.  The result of that break is the realization that maybe my lifelong dream is like some of my other lifelong dreams (like being a size 2 and having sex with Angelina Jolie) just that: a dream.  Some dreams are just not meant to live in the light of day.  They begin to pale, whither, and die in the reality of that light.

So what now?

After a few months of study I’ve just begun a job as a personal trainer.  I’m not sure yet, but the returns are looking good on my new occupation.  Health, wellness, and fitness seem to be the new key words in my vocabulary and I’m going to bed thinking about program design variables and the best way to consider client goals.   I’m excited; but admittedly a bit scared.  I expect in the coming months for this space to continue to be a chronicling of my adventures (mis-adventures?), but also to include my thoughts on health and fitness as they continue to evolve.  My goals are changing and I expect my writing to tug along behind that.

Nightcap

Why are we, the modern blogger, compelled to cap the year? We are already the voyers of out time, spewing our thoughts for all the western web to see (or ignore).  We feel the urge to connect via our posts and pictures; whether to push our professional thoughts or our personal events out, we spin paragraph after paragraph in the hopes that you, dear reader, give a damn.  Maybe the annual “end of year” spew is a way of looking back and saying “I did this, I hope you still care”.  Maybe it’s the mass delusion that we don’t really give a damn if anyone is reading or not.

Or may, and this is my secret hope, it’s the belief that if we look back on last year to check our trajectory we can somehow hedge our bets that maybe this year will be better than the last:

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2 thoughts on “It Is 2012.

  1. […] should sound familiar: sometime between Dec 16th and Jan 5th(ish) you or someone you love, after reflecting back on the previous year, their life, their waist, or whatever else they’re musing about, will […]

  2. […] the course of this blog’s life I regained my athletic pursuits, became a professional trainer at one of the best companies I’ve ever worked for, published articles, trained some awesome […]

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So much of life is in how we transition. In if we allow ourselves a process, get stuck, or judge ourselves in moments of deep change. If we can find calm in our storms and not cling as things slip past us. - - - I've been home from Koh Phanang, Thailand for 4 days & mostly sleeping. This beautiful trip rocked me and my soul. I've come back with clarified questions and a fire inside, ready for the exciting changes to come. - - - Has something ignited your fire recently? What changes are on your horizon that you're hoping to rise to? Share in the comments. - - #throwbackthursday #tt #kohphagan #thailand #wanderlust #wanderwoman #sunset #beachvibes #beachlife #zenbeach #beautiful #meditation #selfgrowth #personaldevelopment #selfcare #growandchange
Travel is a huge challenge for #spoonies - for those with hEDS it's a shock to the nervous system and a real struggle. I'm only 1/3 of the way into my 40 hour haul from Thailand to New York and was already starting to feel the effects of the flight. Dizzy, nauseous, disoriented. What's a #zebra to do? . . . I applied all I've learned the last month with @luna_alignment_yoga of course! If my nervous system is the problem, what if I use movement to help? First I got a massage and took a shower, because that always helps. Then I combined @yogigypsynomad and my finals her use of #sunsalutation to stimulate the autonomic nervous system, and then I added some more forward folds and gentle twists to calm it back down. Finished up with 7 min of pranayama to balance the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. . . The result? I'm hungry! When those with hEDS fly we experience gastroparesis - a stalled digestive system. Thats why the nausea. Being hungry means the practice worked! Any spoonies out there who want to know more DM me. . . What do you think @talswissa is that intelligent practice? Would Anu be proud? 😉 . . . #movementismymedicine #spoonievictory #spooniewarrior #myillnessdoesnotdefineme #yogaeverywhere #lunaalignmentyoga #alignmentyoga #alignmentfirst #trainsmarter #selfcare #selfcareisselflove #learningtolovemyself #hEDS #EhlersDanlos #EhlersDanlosSyndromes
Being the middle of 5 crazies. And I wouldn't have it any other way. . . #nationalsiblingday #wildchild #middlechild #threes #lifeinthrees #wanderlust #farfromhome #homesick
It's important to be a supportive friend - and when @alliolson23 and I find the rest of the @luna_alignment_yoga TTC crew on the beach the support was in full force! . . . This trip has taught me so much about myself. Things I was scared to try that I can now see I'm capable of, that I can learn to trust more deeply and open up, and apparently that I can FLY! . . . 10 more days in Koh Phanang and trying to live fully in them. . . #kohphagan #thailand #200yttc #200ytt #acroyoga #trysomethingnew #spoonievictory #spooniewarrior #spoonie #iamnotmyillness #eds #EhlersDanlosSyndromes #alignmentyoga #challengeyourself #strongissexy #strongwoman
It's a full moon tonight on Koh Phanang but the stars are out early. . 📸 @paulinedemuynck . #kohphagan #secretbeach #nude #selflove #takearisk #myillnessdoesnotdefineme #bigisbeautiful #thailand #fullmoon #bluemoon #srithanu #beachlife #beautiful #beachvibes #selfacceptance
I came to Thailand to shift my perspective - today we took that literally! My first full inversion! . . . Conventional medical "wisdom" will tell you I can't do this - that people with Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility Type aren't getting any better. The first two weeks of Alignment Yoga Teacher Training have focused on what I figured out to survive: with proper alignment and strength the body can stabilize. Strength is the name of my game! . . . No doubt there are some zebras and spoonies out there struggling. To you I say: it's been 11 years since my diagnosis and I've come lightyears since then. Dig deep. Keep learning. Never surrender (except in meditation). . . . And I still have 2 weeks more! 🙌 . . . #EhlersDanlosSyndromes #EhlersDanlos #hEDS #spoonievictory #spoonie #spooniewellness #yogi #inversion #headstand #yoga #200ytt #alignmentyoga #lunaalignmentyoga @luna_alignment_yoga #strong #strongwoman #kohphagan #selflove #selfcareisselflove #nevergiveup
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